A pair of oven mitts that *may* make people think you haven't gotten over your childhood Mousketeer days, but...who cares? No one will be making fun when they taste the perfect Disney Park dupes you magically whip up with the help of these gloves! Tigger tails, anyone?
A shower curtain liner for anyone who is ~clearly~ obsessed with their screens and can't handle washing their hands of their devices while washing their bodies. Don't let personal hygiene get in the way of a perfect binge-watching weekend! Schitt's Creek is worth the extra effort.
A set of human face stress balls that are sure to turn your frown upside down every time you give them a lil' (humorously unsettling) squish.
A unicorn toilet spray that'll save you when you have indigestion of mythical proportions. Fortunately, if you spray this in the toilet before you go, your bathroom won't end up being a scene out of a dark Brothers Grimm fairy tale.
A nonstick brownie pan for clever chefs who don't mind owning such a strange pan when it means they get to experiment with recipes and that are a little more ~edgy~.
An avocado area rug that'll work great in the bathroom, kitchen, backyard, or anywhere you would like to ~produce~ a quirky, darling atmosphere.
A toilet light so your porcelain throne can always have a subtle glow, letting you use the bathroom in the middle of the night without turning on the overhead lights and blinding yourself.
An electric s'mores-maker for people who love the idea of a campfire treat...as long as it is made from the comfort of their living room and nowhere near nature.
A jerky bouquet so you can apologize to your sweetheart in a funny and fun way after you realize the silly ~beef~ you two had was probably your fault. Or, more specifically, ~hangry you~'s fault.
A shower curtain your friends are gonna love (~butt~ be prepared to soothe them when they're sad they don't have one themselves).
A pack of six strange sodas that'll be a delightful (and literal) gag gift at your next holiday party. Hopefully the person you give these to is able to enjoy the moment and drink it all in.
A pair of horizontal reading glasses so you can get home at the end of an exhausting day and read or watch TV without even exerting the effort it takes to sit up.
A lumberjack outfit that'll make your four-legged friend look like the boss at a lumber mill for some unnecessary (but adorable) reason.
A giant flour tortilla blanket — nothing is gonna make you feel more warm and cheesy than wrapping yourself up in this treat!
An activated charcoal teeth whitening powder that'll get your teeth so shiny white, everyone will compliment them, even if actually watching you brush with this stuff would be rather...dark.
A basset hound scarf that might look funny, but it's lightweight, warm, and great for anyone who finds winter weather ~ruff~.
Or a pair of underwear hand warmers that, let me be ~brief~, are gonna be a must-have accessory this winter.
A doormat for cat parents who know exactly how they will be greeted when they return home. Might as well embrace the 'tude.
An octopus mug — get ready to be overly attached to an inanimate object, because one sip from this ceramic sea creature and you're gonna want to bring it on tentac- all of your adventures.
A pack of 15 Shakespearean-insult adhesive bandages for people who aren't afraid to add insult to injury.
A zombie face mask sure to make your skin as soft and supple as a nice, juicy brain. What am I going as for Halloween, you ask? Why, myself...in this face mask.
A spoon rest that'll add a real ~splash~ to your kitchen decor (and prevent spills and splashes from messy spoons while it's at it).
A koi pond toilet decal for apartment dwellers who would love enjoying the view of a backyard pond but, what with living in a fifth-floor walkup and all, the toilet seat will have to do.
An adjustable lamp that sits, stays, and is sure to give you a doggone grand aesthetic in any room of the house.
A mushroom-growing kit for anyone who would love a large garden but doesn't have ~mushroom~ for anything other than some of these fun-guys.
A unicorn paper holder so you can get your ~point~ across with your roommates or family...keep the TP full and handy!
A salt shooter to give someone who would love nothing more than to hunt the world's most dangerous game, the pesky housefly. That...or use it to season their food in the most exciting way possible.
A magnetized, whiteboard fridge decal you can use to write messages and important reminders...like when you're hosting game night next.
A strawberry toilet seat that'll look ~berry~ cute in your bathroom. You know, if absurdly adorable toilet decor is your kinda ~jam~.
A unicorn-head squirrel feeder that may look a little (a)corny in your yard, but you're gonna love it anyway.
A doodle pillowcase that can be colored on, wiped clean in the washing machine, and redrawn on — you can give this to anyone with a particularly ~sketchy~ style.
A box of fibrous cereal specifically made to get you pooping like it's an Olympic sport.
A platypus spatula that'll be a beak-on of hope when you can't seem to get that last bit of jelly from the jar.
A removable floor decal for decorating kids' bedrooms from top to bottom in the most surprising way possible. And to *finally* convince them that the floor is, in fact, not lava. It's a mossy waterfall.
A pair of leaf-scooping gloves that'll prove you have waay more than just a green thumb when it comes to your garden. Honestly, you won't be- leaf how well these scoop up fallen foliage!
A left-handed candle for people who take their left-handed lifestyle *very* seriously. Reviewers say the aroma is subtle and calming, but I'm not sure if we right-handed folks would feel the same way.
A box of miracle fruit tablets — mind-boggling candies that'll turn your taste buds upside down. This is a fun family activity that'll never go ~sour~ (although technically the effects wear off after around 30 minutes).
Weird Parenting Wins, a funny and heartwarmingly honest book that's sure to give you some surprising parenting hacks. Whether you're trying to get your kids to tell you the truth, wanting to figure out how to end tantrums before they start, or discovering "The Art of Getting Your Kid to Act Like a Person," there's sure to be a silly solution in here for you!
A gift of nothing for the person who either has everything or insists they want nothing. Sure, I may just be paying for this LOL-worthy packaging (because there is truly nothing in it) but...I'm still sold.
A startlingly strange-looking tongue scraper to help get rid of bad breath if you feel like you're only scraping by with brushing and flossing.
And finally, a potato pal so you can send a preciously personalized gift to the~stud~ in your life.
When you realize just how much you actually identify with these products:
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