An Instant Pot to completely redefine your cooking abilities. Grab this thing and cook entire meals with a literal push of a button. The future is now, people!
A charcoal peel-off mask that'll help unclog your pores and remove sebum so you won't be se-bummed about blackheads and buildup anymore. This even includes a silicone brush so your mask goes on smooth and you won't waste a smidgen of product.
A pack of four Magic Erasers sure to finally scrub away the dirt and grime that's been giving you a hard time.
A box of 12 Soylent bottles for the ultra-efficient among us who are too busy *killing it* at life to make a full meal. Ever wondered what success tastes like? Hint: it's this.
A pack of pimple patches – they're gonna save your skin when you're so sick of your whiteheads you think you might pop.
A clever storage cube so you can keep 96 pens, pencils, markers, brushes, or whatever tiny tools you currently have lying around upright and organized.
A set of daringly darling measuring spoons that'll be the cherry on top of your kitchen tools.
A seat filler, because you've had too many disasters strike at the drive-through...you need something that's sure to save future french fries from certain doom.
A snazzy stainless steel shelf organizer that'll add a sleek look to your place *and* help you use up every nook and cranny of counter space in your minuscule studio.
A can of erasers that's gonna make any recipient say " Olive these very much."
A bottle of poop spray to save your bathroom from, well, yourself. Just spray it in the tank before you go and everything is sure to be coming up roses!
A pack of 200 earring backs that'll always have your back, ya hear?
An elevated stainless steel baking and cooling rack for anyone who wants to take their cooking skills to the next level.
A reusable silicone food bag with an air-tight seal you can use to replace all the plastic bags in your place – store leftovers, heat up food in the microwave, or simply to store your snacks in.
A pair of computer glasses with a lens that'll keep your eyes from aching when you're staring at screens all day. If you work at a desk, it's time to put on a pair of these pretties.
A cast iron skillet to make it look like you have a ton of skill(et)s in the kitchen. And make your food taste *chef's kiss* delicious.
A makeup brush cleaner you're gonna be glad to get – especially when you realize just how dirty the brush you've been rubbing all over your face is.
A toilet paper holder that's sure to delight people who aren't ~sheepish~ about sporting some adorable, and useful, bathroom storage.
A bag of organic Death Wish coffee for anyone who truly believes in the phrase "death before decaf".
A hideaway plunger that'll help you hide the grossest part of necessary bathroom tools and pretend it doesn't exist, until you really need it.
A cordless Dyson – if you have floors you're gonna be floored by how well this vacuum works.
An electric kettle so you can put the kettle to the metal and heat yourself up a strong cup of chamomile before your 9pm bedtime. I support this. A lot.
A foot cream that's sure to save your skin when dryness, smelliness, or sweatiness has you feeling de-feet-ed.
A KitchenAid mixer to transform your kitchen, and your cooking, after you watch Salt Fat Acid Heat (i.e. your uncertified, but complete, cooking education) and realize what food can do.
A darling reusable grocery bag for shoppers who know that having less plastic in life will ~produce~ some seriously satisfying results in the future.
A knife sharpener so you, and your cutlery, can be the sharpest knife in the drawer.
A fabric defuzzer sure to clean up sweaters, sofas, and other aging fabrics that have been a real ~pill~ lately.
A relaxing and efficient scalp massager – it's gonna be a massive upgrade from your typical shower for your scalp, hair, and mental health.
A box of plant food to make gardening so much easier this spring, the thought of working outside will really ~grow~ on you.
A quilted chenille floor pillow so you can fill your apartment with fancy and functional pieces when your heart wants more furniture and your apartment wants you to move all your junk out.
1,000 Foods To Eat Before You Die, a book full of meals so delectable everyone will wanna eat it right up.
A Tubshroom that'll get you (and your drain) out of some seriously hairy situations.
A six-piece storage set sure to save your sugar from being anything less than totally sweet.
A mildew resistant shower curtain liner so you can clean your body in a place that's actually clean.
And an overflow cap to help you soak in a bath that's filled to the brim.
A set of three botanical notebooks that'll give you the space to write down everything you want to remember, no matter how long and ~flowery~ your writing may be.
A floral water fountain with three pressure settings and an adorable design sure to convince your particularly persnickety pet their water is, in fact, fresh as a daisy.
A sinfully soft blanket scarf for the cold blooded among us who feel a chill in the air no matter how high the heat is.
An activated charcoal teeth whitening powder that'll turn your teeth into some genuine, grade-A, pearly whites.
A lightweight trashcan with a small side handle that accentuates its good looks – this stunning receptacle is here to show the world your trash doesn't have to look like garbage.
A BuzzFeed Tasty calendar filled with seasonal recipes you'll love. Whether you decide to embark on a year-long cooking adventure and try one each day or just want to enjoy a new meal a month, this'll be a delectable way to start the new year!
And finally, a MoMA lattice table cloth that's gonna look lovely, even when you're only using it to save the kitchen table from your kid's magic marker phase.
My IRL reaction after finding these products on Amazon:
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