A bottle of Mike's Hot Honey that'll taste sweet and slightly spicy, just like their love.
A thoughtful little fill-in-the-blank journal you can complete with everything you adore about your relationship.
A pair of fuzzy memory foam slippers so soft they'll think they're walking on clouds.
A screaming goat, because if there is anything they need this year it's a tiny figurine of a goat screaming out their frustrations.
An attention-grabbing neon sign made with glass tubes that have a life of over 100,000 hours. Plus, it has a one-year warranty with free replacements if they accidentally break any of the bulbs.
A giant variety box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates, because the best way to anyone's heart is through their stomach...with a sweet treat.
A very handy book that could honestly, save their life — or just answer all those questions they're maybe too embarrassed to even google.
A pair of light-up chopsticks for when they need the help of the force to get them through a meal you prepared using your stellar cooking skills.
A spiral-bound collection of the best New York Times crosswords, because it's their favorite way to spend a Saturday morning with you.
An ergonomic and compact Shiatsu back and neck massager so your magic fingers can get a little rest — it's really more a gift for you.
A delicate and detailed 24-karat gold-plated baguette rhinestone ring to give them that little something extra to add to their outfit.
An Amazon Fire TV Stick so they can stream all their favorites from the comfort of their sofa — go ahead and include your Netflix password along with this one.
And while you're at it an attachment so they can turn their Amazon Fire remote into a universal one for their TV, receiver, soundbar, and Blu-ray player.
A set of silky-soft satin pillowcases designed to help keep their hair from frizzing, their skin from breaking out, and their dreams sweet.
A splurge-worthy (and oh so delicious) Truff hot sauce variety pack so you can really keep the spice alive.
A pack of 16 refreshing and rejuvenating collagen face masks you can use as really fantastic gifts for everyone you know.
A seven-color silicone night-light so adorable, so precious, so cute...not even the monsters under their bed will be able to stay scary.
An awesome beginner's guide to calligraphy that'll help them upgrade their penmanship game by teaching them five different alphabet styles and uppercase and lowercase letters, plus give them some design and composition tips.
A dishwasher-safe airtight cold-brew maker, because their love for you is as strong as they like their coffee — but also, maybe because sometimes they need that coffee to tolerate your love.
A cozy terry cloth bathrobe so comfiness can travel with them as they roam around their house.
An adorable set of Tea Drops — morsels of loose leaf organic tea, raw sugar, and aromatic spices to give them a perfect cup every time.
A set of stunning handblown champagne flutes to help them celebrate this romantic holiday created by the greeting card industry in style and class.
A lace and mesh bodysuit designed with a satin waistband — reviewers of all body types swear that this bodysuit is stunning.
A gorgeous 20-piece set of hair barrettes so they can upgrade their 'do but also keep their hair out of their face.
A linen pillow cover that immortalizes one of the greatest moments in TV history and that they'll use to rest their head on while they rewatch The Office for the 782nd time this week.
A fantastic hardcover guide to understanding flavors and which work best together based on the expertise of dozens of the world's best chefs.
A cushioned foam acupressure mat and pillow set, because it's literally impossible to function at your full potential when you're suffering from neck and back pain.
A splurge-worthy Philips SmartSleep Wake-up alarm clock that simulates the sunrise, so waking up (at any time) feels totally natural — because let's be real, these days, time is just a concept.
A pair of wireless Bluetooth earbuds to give them the high-resolution sound their favorite music deserves.
A comfy crewneck T-shirt celebrating their favorite game in the whole world.
A sterling silver pendant necklace, because home is where the heart is — or wherever this pendant says is home.
A desktop Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy. Hi. I'm Elena, President and CEO of Elena's Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy Emporium and Warehouse. Thanks to a shipping error, I am now currently overstocked on Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guys and I'm passing the savings on to yoooou!
A stainless steel bottle sealer designed with a built-up pressure pump, because they're the life of the party, but sometimes that party has to end at a reasonable hour and continue the next day.
A slim and waterproof fitness tracker designed to be a watch, pedometer, and a calorie and sleep monitor.
A tea tree beard oil for moisturizing, softening, and reducing the itchiness they can sometimes get from the hairs on their chinny chin chin.
A personal library kit because they're book-obsessed but tired of losing their books to "friends" who borrow them and never bring them back — can you charge friends late fees?
A pack of undies filled with a variety of thongs, G-strings, and hipsters to have you covered — maybe if you're lucky enough they'll let you see them in them.
A bucket list booklet designed to help you and your partner work out and work toward your shared goals.
An I DEW CARE Mini Scoops set that comes with three skin nurturing and refreshing face masks — Berry Groovy which has glycolic acid, antioxidant-rich raspberry extract, and exfoliating strawberry seeds, Matcha Mood made with soothing green tea, skin-restoring vitamin B3, and cooling glacier water, and the colorful Cake My Day designed with hydrating rainbow sprinkles and a birthday cake scent.
An unofficial Disney Parks Cookbook filled with more than 100 recipes to help them recreate their favorite amusement park eats right at home.
A giant 750-ml wineglass they can fill with the optimal amount of a liquid they like to have.
A mulberry silk eye mask for when all they really want is a really good nap.
A pair of the cutest and coziest animal-shaped socks that'll keep them mooooving when they feel like giving up.
An uber-relaxing lavender candle that'll burn for up to 65 soothing hours.
A gorgeous rose-quartz roller and scraper massager for that just-went-to-the-spa feeling.
A loveable little ceramic planter complete with an adorable plant to keep them company on even the prickliest of days.
A fantastic guide to 500 of the most stunning places you two should visit...eventually. Plus it'll simply look great on their coffee table.
A decadent cashmere-feeling blanket scarf that'll keep them warm and cozy since wearing actual blankets isn't exactly socially acceptable.
And a Squatty Potty — I promise you, they'll thank you later.
When they open your gift:
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